Sunday, October 30, 2011


Been so long. Running. Can't stop can't stop never stop. Forgot. Forgot about the plan. Didn't forget about Brandon.

My fault. All my fault.

She found me. She came and stared at me with those brown brown brown eyes. She says to stop fighting. Stop. Come with her. Use the pain.

I am pain.

Sometimes. Sometimes I wonder. See her hands. Maybe I should take it. Take her hand. Take the pain. Maybe then it will stop.

But I can't.

So back to the plan.

Back to Brandon.

We talked. He gave me the password. That was smart.

But it didn't help.

I try to help.

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Her name is Linda. But I don't call her that. Odile. She's Odile. It was meant as an insult. But it sort of just became her. Suited her. More than I could know.

She also had a headache. A headache and a nosebleed. She told me I was special. We were special. I almost believed her. Almost went. But she embraced Him. Embraced the signal. I couldn't. Not after Tim. I had to try to help. I tried. She seemed so helpless. Vulnerable. Weak.

Weak weak weak she's not weak stronger than me all that pain and hurt she uses the hurt. She uses the weakness. She uses. Everything. Everyone.

I tried to save her. But that's the thing about the black swan.

She doesn't want to be saved.

She just wants you to try.

Saturday, September 10, 2011


Brandon was a mistake.

I try. I try to help. But it always goes wrong. So very wrong. I always hurt. Like my head. Hurts. Always hurt. I'm just pain.

I tried to help Tim. When the signal first came. When I realized what I could do. I told him. But then it was all he could think about. Made my head hurt head hurt hurt I hurt I make them hurt Tim I'm sorry hurt all hurt I feel it the signal on and on and on and on.

Then the signal stopped.

And He came for me.

She came for me.

I ran.

I tried to help. The signal. Felt the signal. Hurt. So I stopped the car.

I didn't want him to get hurt.

I tried to warn him. I try. I wanted him to stop. But he didn't stop. And he fed the signal.

And now he's dead.

Maybe I should stop trying. Maybe the signal stops with me. stop stop. I hurt everything. I am pain.

I just want the pain to stop.

Friday, September 9, 2011


It comes for everyone. I tried to stop it. But it kept on coming. Kept on coming. Darkness. It is darkness. Kept on coming.

I try to help.

But chaos is everywhere. Chaos and darkness. And the thoughts. Stop thinking. Stop knowing. Stop. Stop.

Kept on coming.

I tried to help.

She is coming.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Another Update

This is going to be really short. Just saying that we're all together now. Four people is a lot bigger than two it turns out,  but in some ways it's easier. Jessie's not freaking out as much, and we have more people to do driving shifts. Ulyssus has also been in contact with me. He's got some nice runner tips. Although he's also a bit of a crazy jerk. That's what I get for putting my trust in a teenager, I guess.

Peace Guys,

Friday, August 19, 2011


I am leeching internet off a sandwhich shop. I don't really like staying still for very long. Jessie uses the laptop sometimes to look at the blogs, but I admit I haven't really been looking. I'm sort of distracted trying to stay alive and take care of her.

It turns out that there was a lot of things about Jessie I didn't know and I wasn't prepared for. Not that I mind, but I'm having problems keeping myself sane. There is just so much going on that I'm not prepared for.

We're going to meet up with Penny and Damon, though. Her friends/other boyfriend/girlfriend/people. I like Jessie but her life is sorta complicated. But they're getting stalked too, and complicated or not I'm not leaving anyone alone to deal with that thing. It's just not right.

Also, Ulysses left me his email in between ranting at me like a crazy person. Contacting him is probably a weird thing to do, but at this point I feel like he knows something, and I need all the help I can get.

Peace guys

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

So here's the deal

I have about a week's worth of clothes, my laptop and charger, a baseball bat, and all the money I could draw out of my bank account. Perhaps I should have packed more but I was in a bit of a hurry. I met Jessie before I left and she convinced me to let her come with me. And I couldn't just leave her, not after what I've seen.

We take turns driving, but we're almost always moving. We only stop when Jessie or I need to get food or hijack a truck stop's internet. There are a lot of debates about what does and doesn't work, but keeping in motion seems like a safe bet.

I've been reading more blogs. Jessie has shown me a couple more that are useful. As weird as it sounds, they're the only information we have if we want to survive this. You guys are all we've got.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone by thinking it was a game.

Peace guys,

Thursday, August 4, 2011

I don't even

I need to do something about this blog addiction. I crash my car? Blog about it. A crazy guy paints cryptic messages on my bedroom wall? Blog about it. Discover that I am in seriously deep shit?

That's right folks, I'm gonna blog about it.

He's real. This isn't a game. And I am so seriously fucked that I have no idea what I'm going to do. I'd run, but I've got college and a life and Jessie. God, Jessie. I finally find a girl who is really cool and apparently likes me back and now she's probably going to think I'm totally crazy which I guess is understandable. And she reads this blog, which makes everything worse.

The date went nice, by the way. She is really cool and we had coffee then she took me to a gaming store and bought me these really rocking dice. I didn't even know that there were so many types of dice, and now I have a cube of them. I think I really like her, and the timing is totally awful.

Which brings me to how terribly horrific this day has been, not counting the wonderful date. I got home to an empty house, which is pretty typical given my parents' work schedule, but after everything that I've been through it sort of creeped me out. The power went out again (which I'm beginning to think isn't a coincidence) and I sat upstairs in my room because I was too much of a guppy to go check out the breaker. I stayed that way, with a fricken pillow over my head, for possibly an hour before I heard a crash.

I am mostly a basketball kid, but when I was younger my parents signed me up for pretty much every sport they could think of. I held on to baseball a little more than the others, and still had a bat in my room. I was totally not kidding about that. So I got the bat and started walking down the stairs as carefully as I possibly could. There were a few other small sounds that led me to the kitchen, and that's were I saw a girl.

She was about my age, with long dark brown hair and these wide brown eyes. She wasn't very big, and a part of her seemed delicate and helpless somehow. She stared at me with those eyes, then pointed behind me. I turned around, and there was the slenderguy who had been hanging around my house. I didn't even hesitate before swinging.

I was hit first. I'm not exactly sure what with, but the next thing I knew I was in heap against a wall trying to catch my breath. The slender man was in front of me. I hadn't seen him move. I've never seen him move now that I think about it. But he had those tentacles of his were out, and that was when it clicked.

It's real. It's all real.

I think I saw the girl pulled out by a third person I never got a good glimpse of, and that.. .that thing disappeared soon after. I don't know what they want with me. I don't know why he's here. But I'm not the kind of person that distrusts my eyes, or my ridiculously aching body.

In the time it's taken for me to type this up, I think I've come to a decision. I'm running. I need to get as far as I can before anyone I care about gets hurt. Because if it found me when I thought that this was all a sick joke, it's going to find me now. But if I keep moving I've got a better chance. Now that I know what's going on, the only thing I can do is play the game.

I'm really sorry Jessie. I did like you. I liked you a lot.

Peace guys,

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Lots of weird and nerdy things

Today was really weird. I mean, I guess I wasn't expecting it to be normal (I was going to confront who I thought might be responsible for my stalking after all) but there was no way that I could be prepared for this day. It was just another surreal moment in my increasingly surreal life.

The larp itself wasn't too bad. When I got there, I was not intending to play at all. It really isn't my thing. But Jessie pulled me into it. Jessie was the girl who was running it, and I yelled at her for a good ten minutes before she convinced me to join in. She said that slender man was just a game and she wasn't responsible for the weirdo outside my house. I don't know, she seemed sorta sketchy when she said it. Not in a 'I'm secretly egging your house' kind of way. More like 'I know exactly what you're talking about but for one reason or another I'm too scared to say anything' sketchy. I'm sort of afraid that whoever's doing this is targeting her too, but for some reason she is just focusing more on dice rolls and hit points.

I know that while I'm pretty sure she's not behind it, there is something going on that Jessie's not telling me. At the end of the larp (which was actually kind of great, so I'm sort of glad I did it) we fight off a slenderman who is Jessie's friend Damon. But about an hour before that, there was a different slenderman. It was pretty brilliant in context of the whole story, but it's the same guy who's been spying on me. I feel like a total tool recognizing a guy in a suit and pantyhose, but something about him was just familiar and unmistakeable. So now I have to worry that Jessie is either a psychotic slendy fanatic or she's in trouble too.

Also, I kind of asked her out.

Actually, after the asking out for coffee happened is when things got really weird. She said that she had to ask Damon and Penny (Damon's girlfriend), but if they said yes she was totally cool with that. Which was kind of odd, but I wasn't really sure what it meant. Of course, then she went over and asked them. Things seemed to be going ok when before she came back over to me she kissed both of them.

So I'm going on a date with a polygamist. That is sort of weird, right? I mean, I'm not going to say that they can't or it's wrong or anything but I'm really used to the boy/girl kinda coupling thing. Everything else makes me blink a bit, though I feel sort of horrible for saying that.

And what does it say about me that I'm still really excited to going out for coffee with her tomorrow? Am I some sort of polygamist too? I'm not going to have to date Damon am I because I'm really not into guys. Oh god, I'm just digging myself a deeper hole here, I just know it. But I've never dealt with this situation before. I don't think it's exactly common. So I'm sort of nervous about it.

That and the stupid slenderman wannabe is outside my house again. If I see him again I am hitting him with a baseball bat. No joke.

Peace guys

Monday, August 1, 2011

A twisted game

I don't know what sick bastard decided that my life was a good thing to play with, but I want them to stop it now. First the homeless kid and now a guy dressed as Slender man staring at me from my neighbor's lawn. This is not cool.

He's been there for hours. I don't know why no one's called the cops. I would, but I already called them about some crazy runaway. Calling them again makes me feel bad. It also makes be believe that they'll think I'm some weirdo that gets off on this shit or something. Which I'm totally not. I don't find this funny at all.

This flier has the link to the girl's blog, as well as a location for the larp thing. I need this to stop, so I'm going. If she doesn't give me some answers I'm going to be really pissed.

Saturday, July 30, 2011


So I talked to the kid who broke into my house. It was weird. Really weird. And I'm angry again.

He's a lot smaller looking in the daylight. He looked tired and ragged and was looking at the various corners of the world like someone was going to walk through them or something. His name's Kevin, but he told me to call him Ulysses. Several times. He had a weird habit of repeating things over and over, as if he had forgotten that he had already said it. This kid's in bad shape.

His parents were there today, so they filled me in on a couple things. Kevin's brother Tim died a couple months ago, and ever sense then he has sort of been losing his marbles. He's seen things, become overly paranoid, and apparently claims to be able to to read thoughts. Well, one thought. He just won't tell anyone what that one thought is.

I asked him, but he freaked out and just started mumbling about stopping the signal over and over again. Then he stopped, and looked at me, and I can't remember the whole thing but I feel like I have to try because the whole thing was just weird. "This probably makes no sense to you." he told me, "But I can't tell you what not to think. You'll start thinking it. Just like if you say don't think of a black cat, you'll think of a black cat. But this is one mean black cat. You're in so much more trouble than you know. And I just want to keep you safe. I want to keep everyone safe, but if I can help just one person, I will. You need to think about me. Think about the crazy kid and the car and how sad it is. Think about school or art or sports or whatever. Just walk away from all this."

It was about at this time that everything clicked for me. It might have been because of that cat thing. I was reading a blog a few days ago that had a similar story called White Elephants. It's about slender man. That's when I remembered that he comes when you think about him.

All of this stuff was because a kid believed in this crazy slender man bullshit.

Ulysses started screaming at that moment. He had his hand to his head and he looked like he was in pain, but I was too angry to care all that much. "I'm not playing." I told him. Because I'm not. I don't care what kind of crazy person finds my blog, I said it the first post and I'll say it now. I'm not playing. "Yes you are. We all are." he said, and he started screaming again. The police made me leave.

This is beyond sick.

Peace guys

Friday, July 29, 2011

getting back to normal

I had a normal day for once. So why I'm blogging about it I have no idea. Lonely teenage girls, I'm just like you! Gosh, that's a little pathetic. It's a shame that most of my friends are either at some camp, on vacation, or already at school (early start much?) because I could seriously use some company right now. At the moment I'm just sitting at home wondering how I'm going to pay for the car and looking up slenderman shit. Which given the fact that I had someone IN MY HOUSE just a couple days ago is probably not a great idea. I'm twelve different shades of paranoid.

Actually, having someone break in like that seemed to have changed my views about everything. I sleep with a baseball bat under my bed, I have to make sure that my doors are always locked, and I jump at strange noises now. It's something that you never think will happen to you, and then it does. And as much as it once again makes me sound like a teenage girl, it's scary. It's damn terrifying to have someone in your house. This is supposed to be a safe place, after all. And now... it's not.

The police found out who the guy is, in case you want to know. His name is Kevin Ulysses Goldman. He's sixteen years old. Apparently he's a runaway from Miami, which for those of you who aren't geographically inclined is rather far from here. His parents are driving up to get him, though. They say they'll fix my wall if we don't press charges. I think I'll just let the kid go. He sounded completely crazy that night, but now a couple days later and in the daylight I think he was just a scared kid who went a little cuckoo from whatever's happened to him in the month that he's been missing.

Not that I want to see him again. He's asking to though, to make a 'formal apology'. I don't know, I guess I'll go. The whole thing is entirely weird and I sort of blame this kid for making me realize that the world is far less secure than we'd like to think it is. But he is still a kid. It can't hurt.

Peace guys,

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I'd die in a slasher flick

We were going to go for dinner tonight for my dad's birthday, but I sort of accidentally crashed those plans into a telephone pole. So we just hung out and mom tried to bake a cake (that went really badly) and the power went out so we sat in the living room with a bunch of candles and talked and stuff. It was actually really nice. We're usually so busy with our own lives that we don't talk to each other much. We tried to do the whole talk at the dinner table thing for a while but it never seemed to work out and eventually we just migrated back to eating in the living room while we watch junk on TV.

It was turning out to be not a half bad night until I went to my room to go to bed and somebody else was there.

I ran down the stairs and tried to call the police on my home phone. It was dead. So I spent about five minutes trying to find my stupid cell phone. Fucking horror movie scenario. By that time, this guy was down the stairs and he was shouting that he didn't want to hurt me and that I should just put away the phone and we could talk like rational adults or some bullshit like that.

And like an idiot, I listened to him.

He didn't make sense, though. He just kept on ranting about thought and 'the signal' and how he was saving my life. He was a total loon. So I flipped open my cell phone and called the police.

They just left. It was a weird night. And I found out the asshole left some fucking graffiti on my bedroom wall.


Peace guys,

Tuesday, July 26, 2011


So, that little trip to Best Buy didn't work out so great. And now I'm posting on a blog twice in one day. Just wonderful, I am officially a dork.

I crashed the car into a telephone pole. The car is completely wrecked and dad's going to kill me. Slowly. So much for hoping my parents might buy me a car of my own for a college present.

It wasn't my fault, though. A guy stepped into the street and I was too close to break. So I swerved, and now I am probably going to get blamed for it because of stupid right of way laws. What was I supposed to do, run him over?

So I'm a little mad right now. I'm probably focusing on the wrong thing. I mean, I'm not hurt the guy's not hurt and I did manage to get the gift card. Although it probably means a bit less given this whole car thing. Happy Birthday Dad!

This has sort of been the worst day ever.

The guy didn't even stay either, he just ran off. Never managed to get a good look at him. Just that he was wearing a white T-shirt and cutoff shirts. Which is sort of what everyone's wearing right now. I think the insurance company might think I'm lying. Then again, I sort of think the insurance company is the root of all evil.

Peace guys, minus the asshole who wrecked my car

I'm a bit of a chicken shit

I didn't get much sleep last night. Some punks were throwing rocks at my window or something because there were weird tapping sounds all night. And when you've been spending the last day or so reading up on some messed up horror movie shit, your imagination gets to you a bit. I ended up turning on the lights in my room and watching South Park until my parents came in and made me go to sleep.

Little things like that have been bugging me like that. Weird noises, odd coincidences. I actually thought I saw the guy for a split second. You guys probably think I'm a bit cracked. I'm not, I swear. I'm just letting this stupid game get to me. I figure it will go away in a couple days.

In other news, it's my father's birthday tomorrow.Being the awful procrastinator that I am, I haven't gotten him anything yet. Luckily all he really needs is a gift certificate to Best Buy and he's totally happy. I do have to head out there today, though. Which means I'm going to have to figure out how to get Dad to let me use the car without telling him that I'm lazy and am picking him up a gift at the last minute. It will take all of the persuasion skills I have, AKA none. Wish me luck.

I seriously need to get a car. I'm heading off to college in a month. I'm hardly going to be able to get around without a car. But broke ass me can't afford it. Oh the humanity.

Peace guys,

Monday, July 25, 2011

First Post

Hello. I'm Brandon Voight, and I'm an alchoholic.

Ok, not really. I am Brandon Voight though. And I'm going to be going to Florida University once term starts in August. It's a bit of a party school so who knows, I might become an alchoholic. It's not my intention though. My dad just happened to go there and their Art History program doesn't suck. That's what I'm majoring in, by the way. In case you didn't notice my obvious art history themes. I'm sort of excited, actually. I'm going to be living on my own for the first time, and there's just something about that freedom that is so wonderful. I've still got a month or so, though. Still hanging in Tampa with the folks. The anticipation is killing me.

Is that what you're supposed to do in a first blog post? I think you're supposed to introduce yourself and stuff. I have to admit that I've never had a blog before. I haven't even kept a journal. I'm just not that kind of guy. The only reason I even have this blog is because this girl gave me a flier about this slender man thing, and it's interesting. Completely psychotic, but interesting.

I think it's some sort of game or something. Unless these people actually believe they're being stalked by a monster, in which they have some serious problems. I don't think I'm going to play or anything, it's a little too twisted for my tastes. But something about me has got me curious. So I got a blogger account so I could follow some of the interesting ones. And then I thought that it would be silly to have a blogger account and not make a blog. So here I am typing away like an idiot.

Peace guys,