Sunday, October 30, 2011


Been so long. Running. Can't stop can't stop never stop. Forgot. Forgot about the plan. Didn't forget about Brandon.

My fault. All my fault.

She found me. She came and stared at me with those brown brown brown eyes. She says to stop fighting. Stop. Come with her. Use the pain.

I am pain.

Sometimes. Sometimes I wonder. See her hands. Maybe I should take it. Take her hand. Take the pain. Maybe then it will stop.

But I can't.

So back to the plan.

Back to Brandon.

We talked. He gave me the password. That was smart.

But it didn't help.

I try to help.

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Her name is Linda. But I don't call her that. Odile. She's Odile. It was meant as an insult. But it sort of just became her. Suited her. More than I could know.

She also had a headache. A headache and a nosebleed. She told me I was special. We were special. I almost believed her. Almost went. But she embraced Him. Embraced the signal. I couldn't. Not after Tim. I had to try to help. I tried. She seemed so helpless. Vulnerable. Weak.

Weak weak weak she's not weak stronger than me all that pain and hurt she uses the hurt. She uses the weakness. She uses. Everything. Everyone.

I tried to save her. But that's the thing about the black swan.

She doesn't want to be saved.

She just wants you to try.

Saturday, September 10, 2011


Brandon was a mistake.

I try. I try to help. But it always goes wrong. So very wrong. I always hurt. Like my head. Hurts. Always hurt. I'm just pain.

I tried to help Tim. When the signal first came. When I realized what I could do. I told him. But then it was all he could think about. Made my head hurt head hurt hurt I hurt I make them hurt Tim I'm sorry hurt all hurt I feel it the signal on and on and on and on.

Then the signal stopped.

And He came for me.

She came for me.

I ran.

I tried to help. The signal. Felt the signal. Hurt. So I stopped the car.

I didn't want him to get hurt.

I tried to warn him. I try. I wanted him to stop. But he didn't stop. And he fed the signal.

And now he's dead.

Maybe I should stop trying. Maybe the signal stops with me. stop stop. I hurt everything. I am pain.

I just want the pain to stop.

Friday, September 9, 2011


It comes for everyone. I tried to stop it. But it kept on coming. Kept on coming. Darkness. It is darkness. Kept on coming.

I try to help.

But chaos is everywhere. Chaos and darkness. And the thoughts. Stop thinking. Stop knowing. Stop. Stop.

Kept on coming.

I tried to help.

She is coming.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Another Update

This is going to be really short. Just saying that we're all together now. Four people is a lot bigger than two it turns out,  but in some ways it's easier. Jessie's not freaking out as much, and we have more people to do driving shifts. Ulyssus has also been in contact with me. He's got some nice runner tips. Although he's also a bit of a crazy jerk. That's what I get for putting my trust in a teenager, I guess.

Peace Guys,

Friday, August 19, 2011


I am leeching internet off a sandwhich shop. I don't really like staying still for very long. Jessie uses the laptop sometimes to look at the blogs, but I admit I haven't really been looking. I'm sort of distracted trying to stay alive and take care of her.

It turns out that there was a lot of things about Jessie I didn't know and I wasn't prepared for. Not that I mind, but I'm having problems keeping myself sane. There is just so much going on that I'm not prepared for.

We're going to meet up with Penny and Damon, though. Her friends/other boyfriend/girlfriend/people. I like Jessie but her life is sorta complicated. But they're getting stalked too, and complicated or not I'm not leaving anyone alone to deal with that thing. It's just not right.

Also, Ulysses left me his email in between ranting at me like a crazy person. Contacting him is probably a weird thing to do, but at this point I feel like he knows something, and I need all the help I can get.

Peace guys

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

So here's the deal

I have about a week's worth of clothes, my laptop and charger, a baseball bat, and all the money I could draw out of my bank account. Perhaps I should have packed more but I was in a bit of a hurry. I met Jessie before I left and she convinced me to let her come with me. And I couldn't just leave her, not after what I've seen.

We take turns driving, but we're almost always moving. We only stop when Jessie or I need to get food or hijack a truck stop's internet. There are a lot of debates about what does and doesn't work, but keeping in motion seems like a safe bet.

I've been reading more blogs. Jessie has shown me a couple more that are useful. As weird as it sounds, they're the only information we have if we want to survive this. You guys are all we've got.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone by thinking it was a game.

Peace guys,